rant o'clock

Lest I seem too rational from what you read so far (god, it's so obvious that I live in hope of a following of a thousand readers who think I'm the personification of CHRISTMAS), I have a rant for you to even up the balance a bit.  Day to day considerations; the state of the nation gets me worked up too but frankly, I've got to split my rants up a bit. 

·         Slow pedestrians with few navigation skills should be forcibly removed from normal-people footpaths.  SRSLY.  These people drive me bananas and Mum, don't scoff, I know I'm practically drunk-in-charge of a trolley at the supermarket but that doesn't count;

·         WHY OH GOD WHY has work started stocking Red Bull in the vending machine?  They are already punishing me with the Twirl bars and you know I'm picking one of those over almonds. 

·         People who smell funky on buses.  I know I know - you take the bus; you take the consequences - but I am sick to death of sitting near someone who has either (a) not washed in a month of Sundays or (b) laced themselves with vile body spray that appears to enhance the underlying body odour.  I would rather sit next to the guy who wanted to share my earphones and was seriously cross when I had no Duffy on my playlist and selfishly wouldn't share things I place inside holes in my head (I exaggerate.  He freaked me the eff out but it did weigh in his favour that he wasn't emitting any noxious fumes).

·         Orange and mandarin pith under my fingernails.  It just plain pisses me off.

I was going to continue, then I remembered that come Friday I'm on leave for a WHOLE MONTH.  This pretty much makes me the luckiest girl in the world so I now feel (vaguely) guilty for bitching.  Soz.