Thursday, 5 January 2012

another lengthy exposition. soz.

I have been thinking about this personal blog a wee bit recently.  What do I want it to be?  Does it need to say anything?  Frankly, I've been having a happy little wankfest over the possibilities for the blog, wherein the world discovers that I am hilarious, deep, compelling, yadayada. 

In all seriousness, I haven't struck subject matter or tone just yet so I've hardly been telling the world HEY LOOK, A IS ON THE INTERWEBS AND SHE IS AWESOME.  People write these things so that others read them or, at the very least, in the knowledge that others will read them.  And from those that I've read, even where there is no particular subject matter the writers strike me as deliberately establishing a tone or persona.  So, for now, this is a diary with an audience where I get to try and fail at constructing a version of A, I guess.


I can tell you that I have discovered this blog is not:*

A dating blog.  I have snared P with my feminine wiles (read: slutty casual attire and loose morals) and I will likely hold onto him, given he's put up with my morning breath for 10 years now.  Sometimes though, he takes me on dates and who knows, you may even get the opportunity to throw up in your mouth a little as I describe these romantic rendezvous(seses?).  One time, P bought me a bottle of wine for Valentine's Day with the declared intention that we share it together (hey, we were 19 and I thought any wine not packaged in a cardboard box was expensive and therefore classy).  I was busy the evening of the 14th and it was a couple of days before I turned up at his flat announcing that we could now drink it together (with visions of a romantic evening without his three flatmates).  Unfortunately, somewhere between V-day and 48 hours later, P had got thirsty…SEE? Romance, right there.

A mommy/mummy blog.  I have no kids.  My only qualification as a mum as yet is my possession of a uterus (though we're not currently on speaking terms because she was a COMPLETE BITCH recently and if things don't improve, she'll have to shape up or ship out.  Goes for you too Fallopian tubes, don't think you're getting off lightly).

A wedding blog.  Sure, I'm getting married, but I'm not interested in weddings really other than my own.  Actually, that's not entirely true because I'm pretty nosy and may have stalked every facebook photo album of friends' and acquaintances' weddings.  But I don't think I'm particularly interested in writing about weddings permanently.   

A food blog.  I like food a LOT (when the kid I sat next to in Standard 2 inscribed "I love Foodtown" on her desk I drew a little piggy on mine).  No doubt I'll tell you about it from time to time, since eating forms a very important part of my life.  But I'm not a foodie or particularly creative with recipes and, like I said, I feel like an asshole when I take pictures at a restaurant, so suck it up, you'll not be hearing from me regularly on tasty treats.

There are about a million other options for what this blog could be (reliving-my-youth blog - extremely likely, whinge blog - likely, weightloss blog - less likely, style blog NO CHANCE as I have no style!).  Anyone reading this will no doubt be thinking to themselves "WELL WHAT IS THE EFFING POINT THEN?".  A very good question!  The point is I just want to write things, and I'm thinking about it and one of these days Sonny Jim I may just surprise us all and get a purpose in bloglife.  And one day, maybe just maybe, I'll write something without parentheses. 

*At least for now.  Who knows what the future holds and I am as capable of a flipflop on what this blog as I am on my views on popcorn and icecream (FYI: before I ate it, I thought a choctop dipped in popcorn at the movies was the vilest food combination I had ever seen, excepting a friend's strawberry jam laced bolognese sauce.  And then I ate it.  Freaking genius and not to be sniffed at.)


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