Thursday, 8 August 2013

i cannot stop with the potty mouth today

Update to the report on rapid aging: I may have been at Mitre 10 last weekend, but my hangover made me buy a saus from the sausage sizzle and I basically deep throated that bad boy so quickly my husband gasped "I didn't know you could do that?!!" which, mores the pity for him.

Wow, that was crass, even for me.  So yeah, I'm keeping the maturity factor on the low side.  That, and I'm keeping tomato sauce all down the front of my top. 

Anyway, I am saying goodbye to a friend tonight who is departing these shores for Blightly.  She's on the edge of 31 and will no longer be eligible for the two year youth mobility working visa (or whatever they call it) soon so she's cashed in her chips here in Aotearoa and is off to the very Big Smoke to see what it's all about for a bit. 

I'm so jealous.  But also I'm not (see: quite happy here).  But when I speak to her about it, I find myself reminiscing about the weirdest shit that I never thought I'd miss:
  • M&S (What. The. Actual. Fuck.  I cursed the M&S queues so many times and was gobsmacked at the casual wastefulness of their packaging.  But then someone reminded me about Percy Pigs which are the best sweetie ever invented and then my basic black M&S work dress died and I was sad because you can't get that shit just anywhere, you know.)
  • Online shopping.  So much easier in the UK.  Possibly the best thing about my workplace was that they didn't complain when I had personal parcels delivered - I'd try on the goods in the ladies loos on the 8th Floor, West Side - call in G or N to evaluate the purchase, if necessary - then if it was crap, the post office for free returns was right next door.  Brilliant.
  • Cabbies
  • A Coat For Every Season
  • Really manky breakfast cafs, you know, the place where beans and bacon on the thinnest white bread toast imaginable came with tea for 2 quid 50 p. 
  • Anonymity.  Being able to walk anywhere without fear that you would definitely run into someone you don't want to see (High School Pseudo-Boyfriend Whose Parent's House I Chucked All Over But I Didn't Remember The Next Day At Breakfast, would you just FUCK OFF out of Auckland please???  I really don't want to continue pretending I don't recognise you and being reminded of the really shitty decisions I made at 18...) (SRSLY, I was 18 + STUPID) (and at 31 + STUPID you really don't want to be reminded of your history of making really dumb decisions) (also, his hair? What the hell has happened to the boys I used to know?!)
  • Radiators
  • Stupidly enormous bank notes
  • Tutting, especially on the tube escalators
+ so on, + so on. I still miss the big stuff.  My flat, my neighbourhood, my friends, the restaurants, culture, transport, the pub, travel...etc etc.  But yeah, that there above is really odd.  G will have a fantastic time, I've no doubt, even without her Marmite.  I'm really excited for her. 


  1. someone's coming over?! amazing! xx

  2. why yes! a high school friend - will put out the contact feelers :) x


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