I think its about time I tackled some of the big issues again.
FLOSSING: WHAT IS YOUR STANCE?
(a) I do it religiously day and night. I am an effing DECAY NAZI and you will see nary a stray grain in the wholesome gaps between my teeth.
(b) Never. Flossing is for pussies.
(c) Meh…when I remember and then sometimes it hurts.
Yeah, I'm category (c). Generally hopeless; not even taking a stand for or against flossing. I know it's good for me but it seems that I'm incapable of making it a part of my morning routine (which, btw, is fixed in STONE because I'm absolutely godawful for AT LEAST an hour after I wake up. Seriously, I need shower, clothes, tea, cereal with the right kind of yoghurt and a not-too-ripe banana before I'm good for anything and WOE betide if I appear to be slipping on the meticulously planned timings (example "JESUS H CHRIST IT'S 8.03 AND I HAVEN'T STARTED THE HAIRDRYER")).
EYEBROWS: WHAT IS AN ACCEPTABLE MAINTENANCE SCHEDULE?
(a) Once a month like clockwork at the salon's waxer/threader/personal eyebrow grooming assistant du jour.
(b) Never. Nature gave me these bad boys to keep shit out of my eyes so I ain't messing with them.
(c) When I remember I go into the salon and get them done or, more often, when I pick up the tweezers and give them a go as I'm passing by the mirror.
Yep, (c) for the win. Which is why I have two eyebrows of slightly differing thickness and evenness, a regrowth problem and a ring of small blondy-browny lashes on the edge of my sink. I am so ATTRACTIVE at the best of times.
|HERE IS AN EXTREMELY FREAKY REAL-TIME PICTURE OF MY LEFT EYEBROW IN ALL IT'S HAIRY GLORY. EWWWWWWWWWW THE SITUATION IS WORSE THAN I THOUGHT.|
AS ARE MY REVOLTING WORK GLASSES.
JESUS H I AM GIVING YOU ME: THE UNADULTERATED VERSION TODAY
Ack, just realised that this makes me sound like an ENORMOUS personal grooming slob but I trust it will help if I say that I shower daily, wear deodorant, keep my nails in check and clean my ears often? Flossing and eyebrow maintenance (or lack thereof) just struck me as I looked in the mirror this morning…am I the only grimy cow around here? Quite possibly.