Saturday, 14 April 2012

me me me

100 things seems like a lot, no?  Well suck it up sunshines, you're about to learn some useless information about me.  It's the Thing To Do, apparently. 

1. I am 5'9", which doesn't seem that tall to me.
2. But 5'9" is a lot taller when your girlfriends average 5'3" between them.
3. Hence, I appear hunched in many, many pictures.
4. That may also be because my paternal grandmother's legacy is sloping shoulders.
5. My paternal grandmother, born and bred in England, was made to avert her eyes from Mannekin Pis in Brussels as a schoolgirl.


6. Which is why she laughed genteely when my mother purchased a miniature Manneken for the water feature in the home my family built.
7. I'm pretty close with my Mum and Dad, even though I've not lived in the same city as them since I was 18.
8. But not as close as my sister, who calls my mother at 5pm every day.
9. My sister K and I get on fairly well as long as we don't live together.
10. K and I get on fairly well as long as we're not with Mum together.
11. My husband P and my sister are mates; I love it.
12. They happily watch almost any sport together, bagging each other's favourite players.
13. K is only 17 months younger than I am.
14. That led to a very competitive childhood.
15. Also probably because we're both competitive people anyway.
16. K is much more co-ordinated than me.
17. I am much more verbose than K.
18. I haven't told my family about my blog.
19. I'm not sure if this is fair, given they've featured...
20. I drink my tea (preferably Earl Grey) black.
21. Coffee makes me psychotic but I LOVES IT
22. I cannot stand milk; texture, taste or smell.
23. I am a firm believer in the three-second rule for food on the floor. 
24. Though I generally assess the state of said floor first. 
25. There is never change down the back of my couch; only crumbs.
26. I love that P has the same habit as my maternal grandfather: emptying his change onto the bedside drawers at the end of every day.
27. I love that P doesn't mind when I steal it like I did as a child.
28. Even though it's his coffee fund.
29. I don't use it to buy sweeties anymore though.
30. Much.
31. My first kiss with P was in an old church converted into a nightclub.
32. On the dance floor.
33. Gross.
34. It was worth it.
35. I love to read.
36. I'm pretty indiscriminating when it comes to book selection.
37. But I do sometimes judge a book by its cover.
38. I don't play video games.
39. Because I don't have the skill and I don't like losing.
40. I do however get obsessed with basic, antiquated games like Tetris. 
41. I've probably lost days, nay, months of my life to a Tetris brick when I was a student.
42. I've always thought I have green eyes.
43. But they appear to be sliding further along the spectrum to blue as I age.
44. They even have hints of brown.
45. Muddy eyes, really.
46. I have an upturned nose.
47. My top lip disappears when I smile.
49. I have masses and masses of hair.
50. Cleaning out the shower drain is always a JOY in my household. 
51. Cleaning out the shower drain does not get done often enough in my household.
52. I have to finish my whole plate of food; I can't leave anything behind.
53. P knows this and will deliberately leave a corner of a sandwich or a last bite ("I couldn't possibly eat any more").
54. He takes perverse delight in my compulsion to finish it for him.
55. I still have an old chestnut nag living out his retirement on my parents' farm.
56. It took P a long time to surpass that old nag in my affections.
57. I can't classify myself as a cat or a dog person, no matter what you say.  I love them both.
58. I don't own a pet as I've moved too much in the last decade and don't want to give them an unsettled life.
59. I'm kind of excited about living somewhere pet-friendly long enough to justify giving an unwanted cat or a dog a home.
60. But I'm worried about the fur on my clothes.
61. I shed enough as it is.
62. I love, love, love Ben Folds.
63. The first time I saw him play live, in a small town in upstate New York, we took the only two cabs in town to and from the performance.
64. The first cab driver radioed the second: "You've picked up the Kiwis? Make them sing 'Business Time' by Flight of the Concords!".  We did.


65. I lost my glasses that night.
66. I took them to the concert so I could see Ben's hands on the piano. I'm such a loser.
67. I've only crashed a car once (touch wood).
68. It was P's newly purchased car, in our parking garage. 
69. It chewed my entire first paycheck from my first job fresh out of university.
70. While the car was insured, P wasn't going to ruin his claims history and he had a massive excess anyway.
71. I subsequently ruined his claims history on the house and contents policy when I lost a gorgeous cognac diamond ring he gave me for my 21st.
72. I can't be trusted with nice things.
73. My first formal job was as a supermarket checkout operator at a rate of NZD$5.66 an hour.
74. I took money from my first paycheck and placed it in the takings from my till, as I thought I'd miscounted and given incorrect change during my first day on checkout.
75. Under the table, I'd had a previous job with K stapling together boxes for flower export.
76. We were paid by the box.
77. By day 2 we developed repetitive strain injuries in our hands and our work rate slowed so much I think we made $20 max from the whole endeavour.
78. I've never been a waitress as I'm too clumsy.
79. I worked part-time jobs in retail, tourism and tutoring instead until I graduated.
80. I was jealous of my sister K's sweet part-time job in a bookstore, until some guy poohed on the floor in the sticker aisle.
81. He was not a child.
82. My most humiliating moment was falling ass-backwards into a rubbish bin at high school in front of a 100 or so kids; I was trying to avoid being hit by a rugby ball.
83. My most humiliating moment probably should be making a scene outside my ex-boyfriend's study hall classroom, not long after he'd dumped me.
84. But I can laugh about that now; teenage drama queen behaviour.  The rubbish bin; I still cringe. 
85. I was more often dumped than I did the dumping.
86. Emotionally needy, what can I say?
87. P loves me enough to lie about the fact that I'm high maintenance.
88. I don't take direction well.
89. I try to take direction well in the office; at home I struggle.
90. P is a far, far better cook than me.
91. I've had to learn from him slowly; it bothers me when he suggests an alternative method for doing something when I'm cooking.
92. Patience? Something I work on.
93. Muffin top? Also something I work on.
94. I face the shower head when I wash, unless I'm rinsing my hair.
95. Or drawing pictures on the shower door in the steam.
96. I get itchy skin in the shoulder seasons.
97. I'm a fabulous wee sleeper.
98. Except for the nighttime bathroom trips.
99. I hate, hate, hate not being able to wash in fresh water after an ocean swim.
100. Rivers and lakes are more my style.

So there you have it.  Some very bizarre free-associating going on there.  Feel like you know me better?

No comments:

Post a Comment

Tell me your deepest secrets. Or your opinion on the Oxford comma. Or your favourite pre-dinner drink. Anything really, as long as it's not mean.