Friday, 8 January 2016

nearly six months later

Last night I slept without a bra on for the first time in months and woke up dry.  God, it felt good.  Old shit tit (lefty) did spring a leak when I was feeding W from the right this morning so, lesson learned, but if I can now sleep unfettered, I think I will be at least 50% less cranky in the morning.  Let it be so! cried her husband.

Body-wise, things are heading back to normal post-pregnancy and birth.  I mean, I'm still carrying some extra weight and a joey pouch on my front, but that's probably got a direct correlation with the fact I'm still eating like its my job.  True too that my boobs will never be the same (when they're empty I think they land somewhere south of their prebaby position). There's a scar from the episiotomy, but it's not big. Otherwise, I think my body has resumed the status quo (unfit, slightly pudgy, but generally operational and mine, all mine.)

I lost my marbles for a period postpartum. I don't think I had post natal depression - we were on the look out for that given other events in my life last year - but I was certainly fucked up by the postpartum hormone cocktail for a while. Not all bad, the rush of love and elation that is magnified by hormones still lingers with me. However, there was some Craziness, with a solid dose of Barely Holding Shit Together for a bit there. By way of example, breakfast related rage was notable (WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE'RE OUT OF YOGHURT), as was my inability to deal with my MiL (who was nothing but helpful, I should say, but I was so on edge that I thought everything could be a criticism and I had this perverse 'I'll do it myself' thing going on).

W is now eating three solid meals a day and I'm feeding him five times.  He sleeps from 6ish to 6ish (he'd like to get up earlier in the morning, the fink, but ain't no one got time for wake up calls that begin with a five.)  He naps three times a day, around 40 minutes a time (utterly inadequate, says his mother who treasures naps of longer than an hour like water in a desert). He has been rolling front to back for quite a while but has shown basically no interest in rolling back to front.  I mean, he has us minions at his beck and call for toy retrieval and entertainment, so why bother? I think sitting up unaided is reasonably close, though it's made harder by his large head (91st percentile for noggin, huuuuuuge). He weighs as much as a small dump truck (approx. 8kgs) and is a very tall baby (69cm in early December). We have packed away the bassinet and the capsule (sob, passage of time, where's mah tiny baybee gone etc).

He's freaking adorable. Highly recommend having a baby, if you think you'd be into it.

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