Well, it either occurred to me or was pointed out. P hissed 'I swear there's just no pleasing you, A', as I launched what I thought was quite an incisive take-down on a terribly retrograde opinion he expressed.
I'm full of opinions and I just want to share them with P, my nearest and dearest. 'Share'; 'brainwash' - basically the same thing. I desperately want him to agree with me in all things and I use rhetoric to such devastating effect that he can't help but come round, right?
Well, no. Wrong, actually. I have thought about all of this further while picking lint out of my belly button or something similarly productive, and I have realised:
- When P ventures an opinion on a topic I feel strongly about, I either agree vehemently or disagree with, well, malice. What I have been believing are 'spirited discussions' may in fact be just me working on my manifesto, while P tries to interject.
- When P ventures an opinion or poses an argument on a subject I am more ambivalent about, I am just as likely to say 'I can't be bothered right now'.
- If I am concerned that I'm going to find P's opinion on any given topic offensive, I either launch an offensive or shut the conversation down entirely.
Don't ask me if I've apologised. I'm afraid the answer might embarrass us both.