TRALALALALALA let us pretend I didn't just angsty word-vomit all over my blog, shall we?
Let's focus on my happy homemaker project of the week instead!
CHRISTMAS TREE. My house will smell like Christmas this year or bust!
First, reminiscence of Xmas trees past (because what is a post from A without a self indulgent diversion into her FASCINATING personal history)
1986: I produce my first tree decorations, including a paper chain that got me into serious trouble at kindy when I tried to teach the other kids how to use the scissors in order to make them.
1987: Milk carton Santa Claus produced. I made my mother sit him at the bottom of the tree EVERY year thereafter until well into my 20s when he mysteriously 'vanished'. I still ask about whether he's turned up again. Mum dodges the reply.
1988: Ugly wax crayon angels made at school with my sister.
1989-1995: Fight over whose ugly wax crayon angel got to top the tree that year (and, incidentally, whose was whose). Constant fights between Mum and Dad over leaving the tree lights on all night (i.e. woman who likes twinkling versus man who cannot leave a room without turning off all switches).
1996: The Giant Tree that we could decorate only half way up. The top of it looked very, very lonely.
Late Nineties: Who knows? I clearly could have cared less, while wrapped up in teenage angst.
2000: I work in the Farmer's Christmas Store AFTER CHRISTMAS and swear off any decorating ever again EVER IN MY LIFE while listening to the same 7 jazzed up carols on a loop over 13 hour shifts, perpetually hungover.
2003: Bangkok's answer to a Christmas Tree: an enormous recycled bottle tree.
2006-2008: Are you kidding me? Like we're going to get a tree into this 46m2 apartment crammed full of our crap.
2009: I decorate a standing lamp as a Christmas tree using tinsel in New York, as we are too broke for a tree.
2010: We live with P's brother, who goes nuts over the tree and buys expensive decorations at the Cologne Christmas markets. We purchase one measly decoration for ourselves, and it has sat in a box ever since.
2011: We work our faces off and never see the inside of our flat anyway, so why bother?
2012: See 2006-2008. Where the fuck would we put it?
2013: WE WILL HAVE A TREE GODDAMMIT IF IT KILLS ME.
I am determined to enjoy the lead up to Christmas this year. We have struck no presents deals with just about every relative in creation, so I needn't panic even over getting pressies under the tree - I'm just going to have a tree and sniff it regularly, for my hit of Xmas spirit. Along with an actual hit of Xmas spirits because you don't think I'm missing out on opportunities for those, do you? Last year's Xmas drink of the year was the negroni, what shall we do this year? I'm thinking something whiskey based. This is a bizarre tradition concocted as adults with my parents, who one year decided margarita slushies were the way of the future at Christmas time.