[Edited to say: administrative rants are fucking boring, but extremely therapeutic. Soz about this one]
Four weeks ago: someone shady attempts to use my credit card details in Belgium. Bank blocks card, doesn't advise me until I call after getting declined at the supermarket, with a giant line behind me. Advised new card will be couriered to home address. Don't do that! I say. I'm not at home on weekdays to accept courier deliveries. Give bank my work address. 3-5 working days, I'm told. No charge for the courier fee on that.
Three weeks ago: Oh, it's been about 7 working days but no card. Call bank. That's odd, they say, it's been delivered to your home address. Well, no, I say, I asked for it to be delivered to work and I certainly haven't received it at home. They cancel the new card and take my work address again. That'll be 3 - 5 working days. Don't worry, they say, no courier fee for that.
Two weeks ago: Oh, it's been about 5 working days but no card. Call bank. That's odd, they say, can we deliver it to a branch instead for you to pick up? Fine, I say. I work by a branch, please send it there. They say they've cancelled the new card, so if it does arrive, please cut it up. And don't worry, we won't charge a courier fee on that.
One and a half weeks ago: I attempt to use my other credit card (from a personal as opposed to joint account) over the phone and am told it's been declined. I call the bank. There's a block on both my credit cards, they advise. I ask if there's been any fraud on credit card #2. No, they say. They say they've removed the block on credit card #2. Should be fine to use it now.
Three working days ago: notice courier fee on credit card #1 account.
Two working days ago: text from the bank: your new card has arrived at the branch, please bring ID to pick it up. Courier arrives at work with a new credit card #1. Per instructions, I cut it up.
Today: go to branch. That's odd, they say, there's no card waiting here for your name. Let me check under your husband's name. Oh, that's odd, they say, nothing there either. They finally check under my address. That's odd, it's here under your maiden name. Well great, says I, I need the card because I need to be able to pay for things, you know. They pull the card out of the envelope. That's odd, they say, it's a new card for credit card #2, not credit card #1. And what do you know, it's already been blocked. Oh, and we'd attempt to order you another one now but our system is broken - we would normally suggest you call the call centre.
I have passed annoyance and have reached bemusement (also, probably because I can rely on P to pick up the purchases in the interim - if this was a sole account, I'd be beyond ropable because I wouldn't have been able to make any purchases in the last month). I didn't go spare at the branch today but the poor guy behind the counter was beyond embarrassed and has taken it upon himself to sort out a new card for me once their system is back up and running. He's refunded the courier fee and apologised profusely.
Do you think I'll get a new card this week?