- More settled
- About as happy
- A mother of
- Longer haired & blonder
- More nervous about the outlook
- Yet calmer, generally
I felt old but happy. Old, as in we headed for bars frequented by the 20 year old set. I was wearing far more clothing than they were, which made me feel vaguely prudish, but stuff it, I thought as we knocked back a drink and headed for the dancefloor. P and PJ (the only others from the dinner party who'd had the stamina or ability, babies and pregnancy presenting obstacles to last minute debauches) took turns at dancing with me and making me laugh breathlessly. They shamelessly showered me with compliments, which was extremely sweet and a lovely birthday present. We chatted up girls for PJ, visited a few old haunts and a few new.
I was grateful to be me and 32. I didn't want to be 20 again, as fun as it once was. I am grateful for my friends and my husband and my life that sees me tucked up in bed before 10, usually. I'm glad I went though; I had a good time.