whinge, moan, rinse, repeat

In that last state of the nation post, I figured I was happy.  And happy I (generally) am.  IHOWEVER, it just so turns out that  there seems to be a direct correlation between happy + pudgy, which = fly in the pudding, blight on the apple, etc etc.

I never appreciated that this behaviour was so compulsive until recently.  You know, open the bag for a “quick snack” to “tide me over” and then holy shit I’ve just consumed an entire bag of kettle fries.  With a side of hummus or other, viler, dippy-substance.  The tummy I blamed on post-India bloat on arrival back in NZ is now a beast of entirely of my own making.  I’m paying for a gym membership I’m not using.  I’m paying for a weightloss aid I’m not using.  You’re reading this and being all “never visiting this piece of shit website again because mother of god she's obsessed with herself”.  I’ve got to sort it out.

Cutting out rice at lunchtime is probably part of the answer – excessive donburi and sushi have got to go as marvellous as the reintroduction was (oh how I missed you while I was in the northern hemisphere which has heard of you but not perfected the art.)  Using the memberships I’ve got too would probably be smart.  In sum: eat less, exercise more you goddamned genius, A.  Get your shit together.

Also: having this epiphany the week before Christmas?  Fucking brilliant.  God I’m stupid.  I think I know what prompted it though; the idea of getting into a bikini in front of family at the lake next week.  Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.  While they’ve never given me an overt eating disorder, That Time I Came Home From University 8 Weeks After Leaving Home and Got My Upper Arm Squeezed Immediately By My Mother has really stuck with me.  We operate by taking the mick out of each other which, hilarious but also which, sobsobsob leave me aloooooooooone. 

Ha.  And you thought I moved back to NZ to be closer to family.

(Love you guys, if you’re reading this.  No, really, I do!)